From Paris With Love: A Simple Etiquette Tip That Stuck

I used to think I was a polite person. I say please, thank you, wait my turn in line, and always put my cart back in the stall. 

While I considered myself to have good manners, I was aware that Americans are often perceived as rude by people in other countries. So, before our family trip to Paris, I decided to do a bit of research to prepare.

I read travel blogs, and listened to well seasoned travelers who had been to France. “How not to seem rude when you go to France” “French etiquette 101” ..you get the idea. I informed my family of what I had learned and they did the same. We shared polite courtesy’s that the French appreciate. 

One etiquette tip that stood out in every blog post I read was about greeting every person upon approach. Literally everyone should be met with a Hello or Bonjour. It would be impolite to walk up to a front desk clerk, and just ask “May I have a toothbrush, please?” No matter how polite one asks- a Greeting must be made first or it will be considered rude. Another example…you walk into a stand up cafe, your first reflex might be to quickly place your order and scoot to the side so the next person in line may place their order, however; if you do that- it’s considered rude. You must begin with a greeting first. 

With my newly learned manners in tow, I, a self-professed rule follower, began to use this new rule at every interaction. Bonjour, Hello, Bonsoir, if it was afternoon. Every waiter, every shopkeeper, every retail clerk- I greeted warmly and waited for them to return the greeting before I moved on to the task at hand. As I write this, I can see that this seems like a basic thing, to greet another human before we ask for something, yet this is not a habit for many of us. 

One incident, cemented just how seriously the French take this polite practice. Again, our family leaned into this new way of communicating, but one fast-paced evening it slipped one of our minds. That person was my husband, and before you judge him too harshly, he had been doing great! But, on this occasion he was very task-focused. We needed to get from point A to point B, and we were on a timeline. He ordered an Uber and in the haste of it all, when the Uber arrived, he leaned into the car and asked the Uber driver a question BEFORE he said hello. Well, that’s all it took- our Uber driver gave us an EARFUL about our rudeness and then we very quietly rode to our destination feeling like naughty children. 

Fast forward to when we returned to the States, it began to feel rude to not greet people before asking their assistance. For instance, before placing my coffee order while inside Starbucks, I look the person in the eye, smile and say hello. When I go to Lowe’s, I walk up to the man in the flooring department and say ‘Hi, How’s it going?’. I am almost embarrassed to say, I did NOT do this before. Let me tell you, the response back has been NOTICEABLY different. Not surprisingly, people seem to really appreciate being acknowledged. They smile in return, appear calmer, are more responsive, and are eager to continue the interaction. 

I love this new etiquette tip I picked up, and honestly wish I had learned it sooner. Making people feel seen and acknowledged is something I feel strongly about and it’s what I strive for in my personal and business relationships. Extending this mindset to every human I encounter seems like a natural way to foster connection. 

And since extensive research links human connection to happiness, I can’t think of an easier way to bring more beauty into the world than by simply saying Hello.